REMEMBERING PRIORITIES
Sometimes, attention slips for a moment and other things
get in the way of what is really of fundamental importance.
It can happen so suddenly, and before you know it, there's a
mess on your hands.
Some AA members have no difficulty with foods prepared
with wine or liquor, provided the alcohol is completely
cooked off. Recent research has shown that it takes a
powerful lot of cooking before all alcohol has evaporated in
the cooking process, but even before this research came out,
I have been uncomfortable with alcohol anywhere near me, even
if it is "cooked off".
"Do whatever you need to do to maintain your recovery.
You and you alone are responsible for taking care of
yourself," my sponsor has often reminded me. So when I'm at
a restaurant where cooking with alcohol may be involved (our
local diner doesn't qualify!) I tell the server, "I have a
medical problem and can't have anything that has alcohol in
it. Please check with your chef for me." Restaurants are
happy to comply with my request and I am able to enjoy my
meal without any problem.
Then there was last Saturday: dinner with friends at
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an Italian restaurant with me all too conscious that evening
of my doctor's recent warning to watch my cholesterol. As I
read the menu my attention was focused on the fat content of
the various offerings, so grilled fish and pasta in the house
specialty sauce seemed a good choice. Alcohol was far -- too
far, as it turned out -- from my thoughts and I forgot to
make my usual request to the waiter.
The first mouthful, and the second and the third; and
then, between bites, one of my friends casually remarked,
"The last time I had that sauce here it was so full of wine
that I really didn't like it!" Oh-oh, I thought.
I left the table immediately and went to the server's
station where I checked and, sure enough, the sauce had
been liberally laced with wine. Although I was assured that
"it had all been cooked off" I nevertheless had a new and
alcohol-free dinner selection brought to me.
The next day, I talked to my sponsor about what had
happened. Had I damaged my sobriety? He assured me I
hadn't. I had made a mistake by forgetting my usual custom
at restaurants but, as he put it, "If you relapse it won't be
a "mistake"! It will be the result of your conscious
decision to return to alcohol. But now," he continued, "what
have you learned from this experience? . . . and stop
beating up on yourself for your mistake!" he added


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quietly. He knows me well!
What did I learn from my mistake? It has taught me
again the importance of priorities, of putting "first things
first." My life and well-being depend on my staying away
from alcohol, in whatever form it comes. I live in a society
in which alcohol seems at times to be everywhere, not only in
expected places (such as bars and glasses) but also in unex-
pected places such as in over-the-counter medications and in
restaurant-prepared foods. But no matter what form it may
take, if I ingest alcohol it may trigger that now-sleeping
compulsion to drink which could lead to my death.
I alone am responsible for taking care of myself, and of
insuring that I do not consume alcohol again: I learned that
important lesson when I first came in to the program and
thought I would never forget it. But I had to learn it
again, and learn it a hard way, at the restaurant last
Saturday. Although I may have many different concerns and
interests, for my life's sake I cannot afford to forget that
staying away from alcohol must remain a first and basic
priority.

Jamie C.